Dear Aspiring Leaders,

For a long time, I believed that leadership required certainty with clear answers, confident decisions, and an outward sense of composure. I thought mistakes were something to quietly correct and quickly move past, preferably unnoticed. Experience and research have taught me otherwise.

Leadership is not weakened by imperfection.
It is weakened by fear of admitting it.

The Myth of the “Perfect Leader”

In the early days of my leadership journey, I felt an unspoken pressure to appear capable at all times. I always thought that I was not supposed to make mistakes as it would raise questions on my professional abilities. As a middle leader, I equated confidence with certainty and authority with control. I avoided admitting doubt, worried it might undermine credibility.

Research tells us the opposite.

Amy Edmondson describes psychological safety as the belief that people can speak up, ask questions, and admit mistakes without fear of embarrassment or blame. Her research shows that teams perform better when leaders openly acknowledge errors  because it creates trust, learning, and collective responsibility.

When a Decision Didn’t Land Well

I remember introducing a curriculum decision I genuinely believed was right. The rationale was sound. The intention was positive. But in practice, it didn’t land as expected. Staff struggled, the pace felt wrong, and confidence dipped.

My instinct was to defend the decision, after all, leaders are expected to “stand firm.” Instead, I paused.

I invited feedback. I listened to my teachers and leaders without interrupting or justifying. I acknowledged that I had misjudged the timing and level of support needed. Together, we reshaped the plan.

What followed was powerful. The culture shifted from compliance to collaboration. Trust deepened, not because I had all the answers, but because I was willing to say:

“I got this wrong. Let’s fix it together.”

This aligns closely with the work of Michael Fullan, who argues that leadership in complex systems like schools is inherently imperfect. Change is non-linear, emotionally demanding, and unpredictable. Effective leaders learn with their teams, not ahead of them.

Mistakes as Leadership Mirrors

Mistakes have a way of revealing who we are under pressure.

Over time, I learned to reflect not just on what went wrong, but how I responded:

• Did I become defensive or reflective?
  
• Did I protect my ego or my people?
  
• Did I treat the mistake as failure — or as feedback?
  

Donald Schön reminds us that professional growth depends on reflection-in-action and reflection-on-action. Leaders are not those who avoid error, but those who learn in the moment and revisit decisions with honesty and curiosity.

Mistakes, when reflected upon, become leadership mirrors — revealing blind spots, values, and growth edges.

As I moved into senior leadership, I became deeply aware that my response to mistakes set the tone for everyone else. When leaders hide errors, teams do the same. When leaders own them, teams feel safe to experiment, reflect, and improve.

I have openly acknowledged missteps in meetings. I have spoken about decisions I would handle differently next time. Not because it was comfortable  but because it was responsible. I have learnt with time that it is fine to mistakes and learn from them because I have seen my leaders making mistakes.

Viviane Robinson highlights that leadership credibility is built through integrity, competence, and interpersonal respect rather than infallibility. Leaders who invite feedback and learn alongside staff have greater impact than those who rely on authority alone.

Growth Lives Beyond Comfort

Leadership will stretch you. There will be moments when:

• Conversations don’t go as planned
  
• Decisions are questioned
  
• Outcomes fall short
  

These moments are uncomfortable but formative. Each one sharpens judgement, deepens empathy, and strengthens moral courage.

As Andy Hargreaves warns, cultures driven by fear of failure lead to risk-avoidance and superficial compliance. Cultures that normalise learning from mistakes sustain improvement and wellbeing over time.

I often remind myself: If I am never uncomfortable, I am probably not growing.

A Reframe for Aspiring Leaders

If you are preparing for leadership or quietly growing into it  here is what I wish I had known earlier:

• You do not need to be flawless to be credible
  
• You do not lose authority by admitting mistakes
  
• You earn trust by responding to them with integrity
  

Your mistakes do not disqualify you from leadership. They shape you into one worth following.